There is some great goal-setting advice out there and being an overachiever at times, let's just say I've tried lots of these goal setting frameworks and while some did work for what I needed at the time, others? Not so much.
Over the last five years, I have seen a great shift in how I approach my personal goals and even though I wasn't documenting every one of them to give you a comprehensive guide on how to set goals and achieve them, I have narrowed it down to five processes you can run your goals through to ensure success. It's like a goal auditing system.
If you are wondering, why should this be any different? Well, this is what I did to lose 16kg in 12 months and keep it off without ever stepping foot in a gym. The same approach I used to go from a struggling average student to valedictorian in university. And the very same one I used to get my first three paying clients right out of university as an academic research consultant.
So if you're ready for it, let's get right into it.
Step 1. Get crystal clear on what you actually want.
What is it that you really want to achieve by setting this goal? In short, what do you want? This question seems pretty straightforward but if you're an overthinker or worse an overachiever, you might find yourself blowing this out of proportion. What you want to achieve by setting a goal is a question you need to ask yourself right out of the gate.
For most young adults, depending on where we are in life, it might be health related goals like being fit, becoming financially free, whatever that might look like for each of us, or improving our grades if you're in school and academic excellence is your thing.
Whatever the goal is, clarity is your best bet. The clearer you are, the more valuable your action plans are going to be. This is what I've found to help me get super clear on what I want.
First - Brain dump
Write down every goal that's been living in your head rent-free lately. Whether it's big, small or half-formed, I want you to write it all down somewhere you can come back to.
Next - Choose one goal
I know for some of us, our brains would rather melt than stick to one thing. But I have tried tackling two, sometimes even three goals at the same time and guess where that always led me.
Back in bed, binge-watching crime shows or binge-reading because go big or go home, right? Well, I would be home, berating myself for not being productive enough or mentally tough enough to just do it. Sadly, this is the default for most of us. We think we have to do it all or do nothing.
The problem, as I've come to realize, is our mindset around productivity. And that has to change first. In Tonya Dalton's words;
Productivity is not about doing more, it's about doing what's most important.
My tip on choosing your one goal is, have a look at the goals you've written down. Which one feels the most pressing at that moment? Better still, which one can carry the others? It's pretty hard to study or make money if you're sick. So in this case, health will take precedence over good grades and making money.
You need to decide on the one goal to rule them all.
Lastly - Make it specific
You have to dig into that one goal to get the specifics of what it entails. In research, we'd call this the scope of the study. What goes into it and what doesn't. If for example the health goal is getting fit, what does being fit mean or look like to you? Map it out.
This is a real life example of how I went about this. In 2024, I was a burnt-out third year psychology student who was wearing multiple leadership hats. My physical health was on the floor. I was broke and in serious need of a hug. So when I decided to change my life so to speak, I had all these big dreams in mind such as take care of my physical and mental health, sleep better and more, make money, keep my grades up and show up in my best capacity as a student leader. It was a lot.
I poured every one of these dreams into my Google Keep. But I was delusional enough to think I could tackle all of these goals, and achieve them. And like most people, it became my New Year's resolution hit list. I went for it. Hard.
I'd build momentum for like two weeks or a month before the burnout set in and I'd crash and end up in a rut. I'd then slip into a recovery phase. Then try again. And fail again.
I had to get real with myself. I said, you know what? Let's try something else. This time, let's try something out of your comfort zone. And that something was to do less and not feel guilty about it. It took some getting used to but I did it. I chose one goal that semester, my health, and saw greater results than I had seen in months.
And there is a science that explains why specific goals always outperform vague ones. To summarise, the clearer you are about what you want, the more your brain can direct energy toward making it real.
So start with one goal and be that spooky specific about what that goal is all about.
Step 2. Find your 'why' - the inner drive that'll keep you going
You've probably heard this before, your why will get you further. Or not. But the research on finding your 'why' is very interesting and I plan on sharing the insightful bits with you in coming notes so be sure to stay tuned.
One of these studies is the work of psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan on self-determination and goal setting. Their findings show that when our goals are rooted in intrinsic motivation, we are talking about our genuine values and desires, they produce greater results than goals driven by external pressure. You know, the things we do to please anyone but us.
So ask yourself, why do I really want to achieve this goal?
When your 'why' is tied to your own core values and needs, the process feels light, enjoyable and worth pursuing. Even on the hard days.
So get clear on whether you are doing this for a deeper purpose or to fall in line with some superficial norm. If it's the latter, we now know that the likelihood of achieving that goal is slimmer than Yzma.
There are some great journaling exercises for finding your 'why' if journaling is your thing. But I simply find that asking yourself repeatedly why you're doing this, until you weed out the reasons that are not yours and land on one that feels undeniably true, works.
And this works because by stopping to question yourself, you activate the part of your brain known as the medial prefrontal cortex which triggers what is called self-referential processing. This cognitive process helps you filter your goals through your personal identity, values and experiences, ensuring that the goals you set are intrinsically meaningful and aligned to your 'why.'
And as Deci and Ryan's research shows, this intrinsic drive is what keeps you going long after motivation fades.
Step 3. Build your action plan and protect it with an if-then strategy
This is the part where you get real about the steps you're going to take to achieve this goal. You're going to write down your action plan as I like to call it. A step-by-step guide of actual things you're going to do to move you closer to this goal.
Say it's health, are you going to wake up at six in the morning for a walk to get those steps in? Are you going to get an intermittent tracking app or planner to ensure you eat within your set window? What exact steps are you going to take? Write those steps down. Somewhere you can easily refer to.
Next you're going to identify the things that could get in your way. This could be a behaviour, personality trait, habit or even a person in your life that is most likely to get in your way knowingly or not. So the next step here is to name your obstacles.
You need to do this because then you can create an intervention plan or what psychologist Peter Gollwitzer calls an if-then plan.
His study found that people who create specific if-then plans, that is people who decide in advance what they will do when obstacles arise, follow through on their goals significantly more than those who rely on motivation alone.
So you're not just writing down your action plan but you're also safeguarding your plans by putting in place measures you can use if or whenever things go south.
This is how you create an if-then plan: for each obstacle that you came up with, attach your intervention plan to that obstacle. Taking my health goal for example, one of the specifics of that goal was to lose 10kg. So I drew my action plan which included walking at least 5000 steps a day and eating within an 8-hour window.
The latter was easier because I could use an intermittent tracking app. But when it comes to getting my required steps in, I live in the mountains and in May-July, the rains are brutal in my part of the world. So my if-then plan was, on days that it rains and I can't go for a walk outside because well bad roads, I will do a 3-mile walk at home. I then went to YouTube to find walk-at-home videos and saved my favourites. This way, come rain or shine, I'm getting my steps in.
Write your action plan and attach your if-then plan in advance.
Step 4. Set a realistic deadline your brain will respond to
Your goal needs a timeframe or a deadline if you will. I'm all for gentle intentional living but that doesn't mean our plans need to sit there, suspended in some timeless void. We are only mortal, after all.
Even if no one is grading or measuring this goal of yours, you need to give your brain a little sense of urgency because studies show that we tend to increase our effort and engagement whenever we're approaching a deadline.
You probably do this with work or school related tasks and you get the job done. Do the same for your personal goals.
That is not to say pressure yourself or grind endlessly to achieve your goals because that only takes the fun out of it and leads to burnout. We're not doing that.
You know yourself better. You know your schedule and how much you can take without tumbling over the edge. So decide on a timeframe ideal for you. If for nothing, to act as a reminder that you're working towards something.
Also, be specific and realistic about the timeframe for your goal. For example, instead of saying I want to lose weight this year, write I want to lose 5kg by December 2026.
Step 5. How to keep going when motivation runs out
You've done the work by getting clear on what you want, finding your true reason for doing this, putting in place the steps and measures to secure those steps, and setting a realistic timeframe to achieve this goal. Give yourself a high five.
Now, it all comes down to how far you can push yourself to follow through. How do you keep going when the going gets tough?
The simple answer? You make a promise to yourself and you hold yourself to it. And I know that is easier said than done. But you need commitment is what I'm saying. There's no magic here. What I've found to help me stay the course has always been my 'why'.
Why do I want good grades? Why do I want to be healthy? Why am I driven to be financially free? My reasons were and still are my strongest motives for waking up most days and going after my dreams.
The thing is, you can have the fancy goal tracking apps, planners, and routines in place, but if you have no commitment to yourself as a person or if you're doing this for the wrong reasons, it makes the whole journey twice as hard. And in most cases, a losing battle.
You can take it a step further and put this promise of commitment on paper by setting weekly or monthly intentions and reviewing them at the end of every week or month. Ask yourself, what will I show up for each week no matter how hard or dull the week gets? Even one tiny action, repeated every day, gets you closer to your goal.
And if personal accountability is something you struggle with, you can tell someone you trust about this goal and check in with them every week or after every milestone you hit.
Lastly, put it in your calendar. Schedule the day and time to do these activities and reviews in advance. And show up for it. These are some of the ways I've found to help me stay on track and I hope it helps.
Remember, having a solid plan doesn't mean things are going to go as planned every step of the way. I didn't wake up every day and walk 5000 steps nor did I eat within an 8-hour window every day for 365 days. Some days you'll slip. And some days you'll wake up feeling like the terminator, ready to conquer your goals.
The key is to pick yourself up when you slip, and pick up from where things got away from you. That is how you keep going and keep hitting your targets.
If you've read all the way here, I have a gift for you. It's a FREE 11-page goal setting planner that helps you work out all the steps discussed in this note. You can fill it online or print it out. I have even added a bonus daily planner and weekly review template to help you stay on track. Download the Goal-Getter Planner.
Until the next note, take care.